Not every day is a good day...

I’ve hesitated about sharing this because a) I feel like there are enough negative posts on social media and I didn’t want to add to the “noise”; b) I don’t want this to come across as a poor me, pity party post... I don’t do well with tolerating victim mentality, in myself or anyone else; and c) it’s bloody uncomfortable to share this!

But you know what, life just isn’t always peaches and cream... for anyone! It’s full of ups and downs and as cliche as it sounds, if we didn’t have crappy times, we wouldn’t know how to fully appreciate the good times. So here’s how things have been going down for me...

There’s no way to sugar coat it, I’ve been ugly crying! It doesn’t matter how much I look around me and see all the things I have to feel grateful for, I just can’t shake it. I feel sorry for myself! I’ve been unwell and in a lot of pain for the last few days but things were a bit better yesterday morning, so I got dressed and headed to work... as I shut my front gate, I was taking deep breaths to stop myself from throwing up (I’m not contagious, this is a result of a chronic condition). I arrived at work and muttered hello to my colleagues as I quickly retreated to my office. Phew, made it! But then in walked a concerned work mate and asked me how I was and the tears started (again)... clearly I wasn’t as good as I was trying to convince myself I was! The pain may have eased to a dull ache but I am wiped out from it. I’m physically and emotionally drained, my hormones are doing back flips and I just couldn’t hold it in. Things are busy at work and I’d already had a few days off so I felt like I needed to just push through but the reality is, by not listening to my body and giving it the time it needs to recover, I’d just be making things worse. So I reluctantly asked for some more time off and came home to recuperate. I’m still a bit of a space cadet and the ache in my tummy hasn’t gone away but I’m pleased to say, I’ve only teared up once today. I’m not good at doing “nothing” but I just keep telling myself, it’s not nothing, it’s recovering.

So if you need a permission slip to pause and acknowledge that things are shit for you right now, this is it! I don’t want you to stay in that place for too long but it’s totally OK to feel sorry for yourself when the chips are down. Cry it out, release it and move through it. Give yourself the love you need then come back stronger than ever

PS oils I’m using and loving right now are; Console - a hug in a bottle; Balance - to help me stay grounded; and Whisper - to honour myself as a woman

See less