Happiness

Back in 2001 I was waiting for my husband to get home from work and hoping that he’d have a car accident on the way and wouldn’t make it! The realisation of what I had just thought scared the crap out of me, I wasn’t an evil person and I sure as hell wasn’t interested in becoming one. The thing is, I’d been living with this man for 4 years not knowing when would be the next time he would hit or threaten me. I loved him and felt sorry for him and tried my hardest to help him overcome his demons but on that day something inside me just snapped and I realised I couldn't conquer his demons for him, I was exhausted from trying and I simply no longer loved him, I just wanted it to be over. So when he got home I told him I didn’t love him anymore and I was leaving. Predictably, he flew into a rage and pulled the ignition out of my car so I couldn’t leave, then grabbed me from behind and held the screwdriver he’d been using to my throat threatening to stab and kill me. I had spent four years fighting back but that night I truly no longer cared and I didn’t struggle, I just told him to “Go ahead because that would be better than living like this”. He tried every way he could to get a reaction out of me but the one that really stuck with me was telling me I would be nothing without him, I would never get anywhere in life and he would be watching and laughing as I fell flat on my face trying.

That one comment made me so determined to prove him wrong, to be successful and thumb my nose at him! So I took on our mortgage and paid him out his share of the equity in our house, I took on the personal loan for his car and motorbike because I got to keep my own car (a car I had when I went into the relationship but which according to the law was now half his) basically, I took responsibility for everything, paid him his share, he walked away with money in the bank and started dating a 16 year old and I was up to my eyeballs in debt and emotionally broken! I naively thought that taking it all on and making it work would mean I was “successful” and could stick it up him. I was struggling on a part time wage but what I lacked in funds I made up for in determination!

In time it became clear that I’d need more than determination, so I bit the bullet and left town to take on a full time job lecturing at TAFE, I’d be successful then wouldn’t I? The extra money would help me make ends meet and I could prove him wrong… after spending every last cent I had on moving towns I was advised that HR had stuffed up in the way they advertised my job, it had to be re-advertised and I had to reapply. I was contemplating what to do as I really wasn’t enjoying it, when a job at the Shire in my home town came up. That was what I needed, a secure Local Government job to provide a secure income and then I’d be successful right? Well not really, I was only at the bottom of the food chain, best I work my way up, I could really say I was successful then! So over time I paid off all the debt, moved from Shire to Shire and worked my way up to become a Local Government CEO. Great, I had made it, I was one of 9 female CEO's out of 140 LG CEO's in WA, I was successful right? Well why wasn’t I satisfied? Why did I still feel so empty???

Because I wasn’t HAPPY!!!

I was then lucky enough to be involved in a car accident which left me with a serious head injury, two bung knees (Posterior Cruciate Ligaments), a broken rib, 5 chipped teeth, fractured face/sinus bone and various cuts and bruises. Yes, I said lucky! Lucky to be alive, lucky not to be in a wheel chair, lucky to have family and friends who reached out to me and showed me they cared, lucky, lucky, lucky…

That car accident was a gift. It put life into perspective for me and made me realise that, although I am grateful for all that I have, success isn’t measured by the title on my business card, the car I drive, the amount of money I have in the bank, the house I live in, or even sticking it up my ex husband! It’s measured by the friendships I have, the relationships with people, the way I make them feel and the way they make me feel. Success to me = HAPPINESS. I can finally say I am “successful” now that I no longer have my self worth tied up in all of those superficial things.

My role with dōTERRA aligns so perfectly with my values. I can truly say that I feel the most fulfilled when I am able to help people and I am grateful for the opportunity to touch so many lives, in no matter how big or small a way I can.

Wishing you all an abundance of "success", however you define it. With love, Tanika 😘😘😘

PS Thank you to my beautiful friend Rachael who gave me this wall hanging as a gift which totally resonated with me the moment I unwrapped it xxx

PPS If you or someone you love is caught in a domestic violence situation, please know that there is a way out. As much as I would love to help, I am not a trained professional in this field and I urge you to contact the WOMEN’S DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HELPLINE

The Women’s Domestic Violence Helpline is a state wide 24 hour service. This service provides support and counselling for women experiencing family and domestic violence. This includes phone counselling, information and advice, referral to local advocacy and support services, liaison with police if necessary and support in escaping situations of family and domestic violence. The service can refer women to safe accommodation if required. A telephone based interpreting service is available if required.

Telephone (08) 9223 1188 Free call 1800 007 339

In an emergency - if someone is in immediate danger - call the police on 000 now.